"I'd like that." She looked at herwatch. "Um, I really wanted to see you this morning, but I have to goget ready for work." She bit her lip nervous...y. "Amy went back homelate last night, as she has patients she has to see today, but she saidshe'd be back later on."I smiled my gratitude at her, and she squeezed my hand gently beforeslipping out the door.I had slept pretty well during the night, and was fairly wide-awake forthe first time since that awful night. I tried to take inventory. It was one of those rare contemplative moments when I take a hard look at my life. I’ve felt this before, but it sort of seemed like I had gone to sleep when I was fourteen and woken up that moment at the bar. Of course, I could remember everything that happened to me before, I just didn’t understand how I had reached that point. I was twenty eight, with no friends, sitting in what seemed like my hundredth airport of the week having an eight dollar beer. The sequence of events that led me there. Maureen and John were walking back towards their boarding house and, as usual, she was telling him what to do.As a rare act of bravado John replied to her latest instruction "No, I don't want to." What did you say?" she asked angrily."We are on holiday, why can't I do what I want for a change?" You will do what I tell you to do just like you always do." No, I won't." How dare you argue with me?" I am not arguing, just saying that I don't want to do what you said."By now Maureen was getting. .."This train of thought served only to confuse her more and the time flew asshe danced and drank and had shouting-right-into-the-ear conversationswith about half of the circle of obviously long term friends. She learnedand promptly forgot names, and had to strain to glean clues so shewouldn't embarrass herself, by getting them wrong having already been toldthem. She discovered that two of those she had thought women were actuallyguys, and worse: ("Why is it worse?!" she asked herself, with no.
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