You were driving me insane, and I simply had no idea what to do about it, or what you wanted me to do about it.”“I know I was, and I’m sorry. Fo... what it’s worth, I was just as crazed. The difference was that I had an externally imposed structure that, at least for a little while, stayed my hand. Literally, that is,” she laughed, “until the night it didn’t.”“So let me turn the question around. What did you think was going to happen?”“I was still trying to deny the plain and obvious truth. Still. I could not fix Lauren's life, or Courtney's life, or Lisa's life. I tried to do something. Courtney Collins was a host on a gab-fest called "The View," now. I couldn't restore her family and friends, and I didn't think I had the right to take away her memories of what had happened to her. I thought, then, if I had seen things unfold correctly, that this would be a stepping stone for her that would have her end up pretty close to where she started.Lisa Antoine was in Hollywood again. She moved. It whirred for about 1 minute. Next, I heard how someslop was being poured into a bowl. Then Mom put a pink plastic bowl, apink plastic spoon and a baby bottle onto the tray. The bowl was filledwith a gross, brown mash.What... what ith that?, I asked in disbelief.That's your breakfast, Sissy! Enjoy!, Mom told me.Then she sat down, poured herself a coffee and filled her plate. Shecouldn't be serious! I had to eat this... this... whatever it was, whilethey got all the good things?But... but... I. ” She looked back and watched her own finger moving up and down the silhouette of my excitement. “Do you like that?” I swallowed back my first attempt at speaking and managed to say, “Yes. It feels good.” My overpowering desire was that she took me tightly in her hand, but I think she knew that and was enjoying the moment in a more mature way. “So, let’s just lose these, shall we?” Lisa pulled on the sides of my jeans, motioning that I should ease my body up so she could remove them down my.
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