I need you. I stumble to the living room, grab a piece of paper and a sharpie. Back in the bedroom I hold the paper to the glass. One word, “Pleas...”. I’m already feeling the blood coursing in my veins. What if you’re out. What if after I made you leave you’re done. What if? The outside door of your block flies open. A figure runs across the street. I drop the paper and rush to the dark hallway of my flat. I hear the patter of fast steps on the stairs. Then a pause. A heartbeat. Two. The. There's no going back. You are what you are and it is what it is."I took a deep breath and held it as I digested my mother's words. "It iswhat it is," I said, repeating her words."I'm sorry," Mom said. "I shouldn't have taken such a harsh tone withyou. I can't imagine how difficult this must be for you. Its just thatI didn't want it to be difficult. I wanted this to be what you wanted.I thought it would make you happy."I crushed out my cigarette in the ashtray and said, "It is what. I tossed her around a little and that seemed to satisfy her.I asked how things were with Barry. She grinned and said, “As long as he gets to fuck some other hot woman, he seems just fine with our arrangement. He was with Beth earlier, and now he’s with Ann. She’s playing one of her new porn DVDs for him in your media room as they fuck. He’s in seventh heaven. I approve and he didn’t seem too worried about who I coupled with.”I warned, “Watch for signs of possessiveness.”Haley wanted to ride me. Shalini ka ro ro k bura haal ho gaya tha, maine osse kaha k tu ja k fresh ho ja, mama ji k ghar me peeche bohot bada aangan tha jisme paani ki ek badi si tanki thi or oske side me open bathroom tha, ghar se aangan k beech me ek purana sa darwaza tha jo kaafi jagah se damaged tha, jab vo fresh hone gayi to thode der me osne aawaz lagai k mujhe towel de de vish, mai naha hi leti hu,Maine osse jab towel diya tab vo already muh hath dho chuki thi par oske kapde kaafi bheeg gaye the, maine kaha k.
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