She asked me how I could possibly sit in front of a computer and jerk off. How do you explain to someone who has never chatted what it’s like to sha...e fantasies online? I asked her if she had ever had phone sex. Her eyes sparkled when she admitted that she had, so I told her that it’s the same thing…just text instead of talk. She seemed to like that answer.But I was curious…who are you having phone sex with? My brother? “No,” she whispered. All of the sudden she looked embarrassed and a bit. "You look at way too much porn on the internet, mister! It's like you people go on elf quests, or something! Don't you guys have human women to ass-fuck?" He looked confused and shocked and I immediately realized I'd probably been wrong about his intentions. In fact, he seemed to be looking for a polite way to get away from me. The thought was crazy, a lowly human trying to get away from an elf. "Uh, all I wanted was your help getting out of the woods," he said. "I'm a bit lost and the GPS in. ”“What’s to explain? Five one hour visits to a motel room with another man is self-explanatory and that’s just the five I know about. The chances are fifty fifty the baby isn’t mine. I’ll wait until I see the DNA test. If the baby is mine I’ll decide what to do then.”“But...”“Bye mom. Love you” and I hung up.Two months went by and then there was a surprising development. I came home from work on a Thursday and when I got out of my car a woman got out of a car, came over to me and said:“Hi Jake.. . sexy, but it is a bit wilder than I ever expected, even out of a blonde bimbo slut like you!“And, now for the kicker, for the real twist of the cocktail, Van decides that isn’t enough cheating on him for his taste. He wants you to cheat on him with random strangers and DAD! DAD, of all people! More incest! Not that Dad isn’t kinda hot in a very ‘Bill Clinton,’ good ol’ boy, golfer, caddyshack way. But still ... DAD? Van, what are you smoking? I want some of that! You wanted to be cucked by.
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