The dreams had stopped. And I couldn’t help but think that it was because I was now in a situation that meant there was no prospect of me having sex...any time soon.Because let’s face it, Vanessa and I weren’t going to be having sex. Sure, we got hot and heavy a few times and there’d been times when she’d had this look in her eye ... But we always backed off. We always went to sleep in separate beds even though it was getting harder and harder to do that.We’d agreed right at the start that sex. Hang on to me and don't fall off." We clumped outside. I pushed the bike off the stand and kicked the engine into life. Sarah hopped up onto the rear seat, raised a few inches above mine so she'd have some sort of view. I checked her over. OK? Visors down and gently out of the courtyard. Even on low throttle the four cylinders gave a lot of thrust and I felt her slide back, hold tighter and then wriggle against me.I reached back to pat her leg and we were off. We muttered down the lane from the. ” She slumps onto the examination bed; it is the only surface you can sit on in this drab little room besides the observer’s chair that the guild master occupies. I sit next to her. She clutches at my hand. Her hand is cold.I am even more self-conscious of how slutty I am. It is something I’ve cultivated over the last month. But now it feels like a mockery. On top of everything else, I am self conscious of my smell. There are my clients last night, my sweat from helping with the birth, and the. Well, first he wouldn't have believed me. He'd havethought I was jealous, maybe. You tried to turn him against me, didn'tyou? He told me. He challenged me over the lies you told him, as though Ireally had behaved that way towards you. If I had convinced him what youwere really like, it would have broken his heart." How noble. Pathetically so. You gave up your life, you became a woman,just to spare his feelings? Christ!"I'd never convince him, but we'd grown up together, practially.
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