Self-loathing that may be, but it gets me through the coming 12 months until I pluck up the courage to choose another homeless man for my pleasure. Th...s little scenario has gone on year after year and I knew that it would never change. Then last year I had the surprise of my life. One, I might add, was of my own making. I was 41 then and I had to admit that this little Thanksgiving thing of mine was becoming a disgusting ritual. I wasn't sure if I could bring myself to do it again. I'd been. Because Marnie certainly was no innocent: one night I caught her in an empty classroom frigging herself as she looked at a lingerie catalogue. I closed the door and we never mentioned it again, but nor did I mention it to the other girls: they’d have ripped her apart. I think Marnie appreciated my tact, and we started sitting together in class. I remember one summer afternoon we were listening to our English mistress reading from Flaubert. It was a Friday afternoon: we were all bored, sleepy,. Les was in heaven from the first time I put some on her butt. First, it cooled everything it touched and made her posterior a lot less painful. It also spread much easier than the ointment since it was liquid.I'd followed Mom's orders and given Les another application every two hours. Between times we'd set her alarm clock for two hours and take a nap. I was so tired I just curled up on her floor. I wasn't sure if this was number 8 or 9 coming up, but I had an idea this would be the last one.. While the store clerk was asking the indulgence of the people who had been patiently standing in line for my autograph, I took the opportunity to ask the two young ladies their names while pulling out Kleenex one-by-one and sharing them with the embarrassed young girl who was quickly trying to sop up spilled coffee from the dust-jackets of a tumbled pile of my books. "Oh, don't worry about that!" I smiled, and helped blot up spilled coffee from the hounds-tooth fabric of Chrisor's purse.
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