‘The emergency,’ he continued, ‘is that I’ve been thinking… a lot. And I realized I was in the process of slowly losing my best friend becau...e of some harsh words and my inability to apologize.’ His tone was rough and stilted and I felt my heart soften immediately. ‘I’m sorry,’ I interjected thickly. ‘I’m not done.’ I nodded again, eyebrows raised in confused anticipation. ‘Okay,’ he said, ‘so, losing my best friend, which is bad enough. But the reason that I froze up – and I’ve thought a lot. "I sighed, and started upstairs. Last night was still so fresh in my mind, so golden, that I didn't want another dreary session like this morning ruining it again. Still, it wasn't about what I wanted. Not this morning, it wasn't.Sue called me back. "No, Jack. Not the bed. That's what was wrong this morning, wasn't it? After last night, that bed's for making love, not for fucking. And now I know the difference! So, let's try it on the couch."We stripped, and I sat Sue on my lap. We kissed, we. "My soul is in no danger?"A short pause, "Not from asking me your wish - no I assure you your soul will not be affected. Think of me as a short hairy Santa Claus!" The squirrel started to chuckle violently, obviously enjoying his own joke."I would like that." 'That' what Joey, you have to say it?"The teenager thought about it for a brief minute - trying to see the harm in asking for what he wanted most of all, if the danger of his soul was not at risk then all the warnings of his pastor did not. It wouldn't be my fault, honest! He would be too big and strong, I would try to resist but I wouldn't stand a chance! I dreamed of being fucked forcibly by one of those men... ... even though, at the time, I didn't know what fucking actually felt like.One of those books drove me to one of my worst spankings ever.I had read a particularly hot chapter in the middle of the afternoon and had put it away again in the bottom drawer of my dresser. I lay there, wanting - needing - to get off, needing.
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