I caress my scars. Dream about him next to me. Feel him in the night tending them. Believe that he’s there. Then there’s light and the shower is s...ill running. I leave it on even though the water bill is too high to pay. I like the sound of the water rushing over me. Let the water pour. Clean and hot and desensitizing, destroying prints and calluses, burning away bacteria, boiling needles to the surface of my skin. Mindless, hopeless activity. I sit in the shower without forgiven and need and. I was really enjoying having her tits rubbed all over me as she cut away. We chatted about her kids and my only kid and that her ex-husband was not in the picture. I noticed her leaving her breasts on me longer and longer. I looked around the room to see if anyone could see us and no one could. I pulled a hand out from under the cape and simply put it on her hip to see if she would move away. Ashley looked me in the eyes and smiled. I moved my hand between her legs and started gently rubbing. ‘You know, Jake, that’s why all the girls want you, because you’re a sweetheart. Girls want a strait guy with feelings and you got quite a few of them.’ ‘Fred would just tell me to be glad I got laid. But I really am not that kind of guy. I give into my desires every once and awhile but I really would prefer to just have a girl that loved me and wanted to be with me for a long time.’ ‘You will find that girl Jake. You just have to be patient. Now tell me what happened.’ 20 minutes later Jacob. Although it wasn’t a question I answered. ‘Yes… exactly.’ Talking mostly to himself the old man continued. ‘But there is more. Your wife… she no longer gives you pleasure of her body.’ My mouth was dry. ‘Well I wouldn’t say that exactly… I mean we both still enjoy sex… it’s just lately… she doesn’t seem that keen…’ I couldn’t believe I was telling this old shopkeeper the details of my sex life. He just nodded again, his expression unchanged. ‘You want grow her desire… make her fires burn hot.
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