Moralim bozulsa da "herkesin bir hayatı var ve buna çok bağlanmamamız da gerek" diyerek teselli ettim kendimi. Pazar günü aramadım ama gelmesin... bekliyordum. Her an gelebilir diye uyanır uyanmaz bakımımı yapmıştım. Ses soluk yoktu. Çocuk bıktı mı naptı diye korku sardı içimi. Ama 4 hafta süren ilişkimizde hem sevgili hem de abi - kardeş ilişkimizle birbirimizi kolay kolay yüzüstü bırakacak bir seviyede değildik. Neyse o günde gelmedi. O kadar arzulu olmama rağmen normalde oyuncaklarım ile. Whit all I had done, I was so excited, I felt like I loved her so much, and the idea of serving her for the rest of my life felt like heaven. We went into a room, whit a large bed, drors, a closet, and a bath room. On the bed there was a silk underwear pink night dress, with flower pattern “your dad loves when I wear a pink nightdress” I looked at her. She took of all her clothes. And when she was done I couldn’t stop staring at her. She had a perfect curved figure, she was a goddess, and I was. I was supposed to be made to looklike a little girl and it worked to an excellent effect. The only thingmissing was long hair and my ears pierced.I just wanted to cry. I can't imagine anyone else going through the samehumiliation that I am feeling. There was a mix of emotions of I wasfeeling and I am not sure how to express them. I just stood frozen with myhead looking down. Like I said all I wanted to do was cry, but I couldn'tbring myself to do it.My hand was grabbed breaking my trance and I. . A few months ago he told me that he had to go and help installing some equipment for a new prototype submarine, and that he would be gone four months. The first week he was gone, I was really lonely and I missed him a lot. He called the first Saturday and told me that he would be home on his birthday. He talked about the guys he was there with and all the crazy things they were up to. One of the guys were turning up the sound on the TV and I could hear a lot of moaning and a lot of laughter..
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