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“I’ll call us a cab.”As we leave the bar, I notice there are two clear water stains on my dress from the ice cubes right where my tits are.“Do...’t cover them up whore, walk." You chastise me as we walk on.I feel the tears starting to come back but try to ignore everyone’s stares as we leave. The cab is waiting for us out-front; you open the door to let me in.Immediately after the door closes and the car starts driving, you order, “spread your legs wider, slut," loudly enough for the driver to. Newsflash - very few people really matter. Especially in a small town.Maybe I read too much. Maybe I was smarter than some. Maybe it’s because I never really felt like I fit in. But I had a world view that involved more than just getting married, raising kids, and being buried with a bunch of nonentities. I wanted a meaningful life.I actually envied the guys who only wanted to get laid. They had no goals, no dreams. Most were happy. A few were pissed at their lot. But none of them had the. ’ Of her having had and continuing to have intimacies and experiences that I have no part to play in. Of being the husband, but no longer the lover. What happened yesterday? I don’t know much about it. Not much in the way of detail was offered or desired. Well, that’s not entirely true. How anyone could not wonder, I don’t know. But what will happen tomorrow? A year from now? i’d very much like to know. I’m scared, you see. I put the hurt away, reach out and touch her flesh. Someone else’s. " another barrage of ballshattering pain gets inflicted."I'll do anything". Suddenly her icy stare changes to that of interrest.I am relieved, I had said something that didn't result into something painful. I was making progress.. but suddenly there was another squeeze. I criy out in pain. A tear emerges from my eye."I will do anything" I repeated, followed by another painful ballbust.At this point of pain and desperation I break down and start crying because of the complete helplessness of my.
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